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It is Christmas and you are likely to gather with your family and friends. You hope for a calm and loving time. And you will have it. But when family members gather there are likely to be disagreements and some feedback sessions. Especially when Uncle Jim gets pissed and he feels like the source of truth about everyone in the family.
I have written plenty about feedback (put three links below), its misuse, inefficiency, unwanted nature, usefulness and the complete and utter misunderstanding that surrounds it. In this article, I want to give you a different way of looking at it.
Feedback is; you being checked and if you ignore valid feedback life will eventually check you about it.
Life will deliver its version that you won't be able to stand up for a while. It will knock you off your feet and you won't even realise what happened. You won't be able to connect the dots immediately but as time passes you will see that the reason you got KO-ed by life is because you did not listen previously.
Does it mean every feedback is valid? Hell no! Most are rubbish but you must take time to evaluate them all otherwise you might throw the baby out with the bathwater and then life comes. We don't want that!
The truth is, that none of us can go through life without being challenged or checked. And you don't really want to. Everything we do must be checked by others that's how we stay sociable, acceptable to others or even pleasant. This is how we make good decisions, this is why we change our behaviour & mindset and act as our spouse wants us so we don't end up divorced. This is how we make ethical decisions so we don't jeopardise the company's reputation with our limited and corrupt way of thinking and this is how we maintain our friendships.
Being checked means that we are told things we don't want to hear but we must, in order to do better. Being checked means that your authority, decision, point of view or belief will be challenged. Dismissing them because "I am the boss, the expert or the head of the family" can be fatal (life) and the people who tried to check you will just say "I told you so."
Constantly reoccurring feedback is certainly the one you must pay attention to. When something keeps coming back there is a reason for it.
So, as you gather for Christmas, be ready for some feedback and don't make an argument about it at the dinner table. Yes, Uncle Jim is a horrible person and you tried to get him checked but it didn't work. Save yourself from an argument and hand Uncle over to life. It will check him good! Maybe you can apply this principle to your colleagues in the new year!
