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Your Trauma is Not in the Event

This is my face when people start with their stories. My friends know I roll my eyes and run away or just say, "Here we go, another no story."


Most of people's problems come from making events their stories. They are not, they are just everyday, normal life stuff with all the good and the bad.


We don't need to make a story out of everything. As my friends go through life, I always remind them that they are not unique. Everything that is happening to them has already happened to millions of others.


So don't think that you have a story and are unique. You are not. The world has already witnessed everything, and we are just fine.


Don't make events to be your story, especially when it comes to trauma, here is why.


In psychology, we quickly learn a key sentence: Trauma is not in the event, it is in the nervous system.


I have a friend whose husband left her at four months pregnant. She is due any day, and we were talking about the future. I told her; Look, it is crap and will be hard, but nothing new. There are millions of single moms out there doing an amazing job raising their kids, gain strength from them. Work through the pain, process it and you will be just fine on the other side. She is obviously in a vulnerable state but I told her; Make this your story and watch how your life will unfold.


Don't get caught up in events, they will shape the rest of your life. You don't want that.




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