Stress, Performance, and Why Some People Burn Out Faster

The Impact of Your Attachment Style & Personality Traits at Work

I have often said, “Give me your IQ score and your Big Five personality report, and I will tell you your future.” I have previously discussed in this article, how personality traits, as measured by the Big Five, can predict performance. When this new study emerged that examined both personality and attachment style as predictors of work behavior, it felt like being a child in a candy store.

HR professionals spend millions on engagement programs every year. New surveys. New apps. Ping-pong tables. Wellbeing initiatives. All in the hope that employees will feel more connected, motivated, and committed. Yet engagement levels in many organizations barely move.

There is a major reason for that. Most engagement strategies ignore something fundamental about how humans operate: our attachment style and personality traits, which shapes, how long we stay at a company, how engaged we are, how we trust leaders, respond to stress, and behave in relationships at work.

HR has not been trained to understand this. There is no module in HR certifications that explains how an avoidant employee might silently disengage, or how an anxious, high on the Neuroticism personality trait, employee might burn out trying to feel valued. How would they know? After all, Dave Ulrich doesn’t preach about that:-)

Research shows that attachment style influences workplace performance just as strongly as personality traits do. If we want better engagement strategies, we first need to understand why employees show up the way they do. Let’s dive in!

Ever notice how some people at work thrive on collaboration and feedback, while others keep their distance? Or how some employees worry constantly about whether they are doing enough, while others seem almost allergic to asking for help?

These are not random quirks. Science shows that a big part of how we behave at work comes from something called attachment style. It is the pattern we formed early in life about whether others can be trusted and whether we feel worthy of support. Researchers have now confirmed that these patterns follow us into our careers as strongly as our personality does.

The three common styles at work

A simple way to understand attachment at work:

1. Secure: Trusts colleagues, feels safe asking for help, performs well.

2. Anxious: Worries about mistakes and approval, seeks reassurance, easily stressed.

3. Avoidant (this is me): Values independence, dislikes relying on others, keeps emotional distance.

This is not about labeling anyone. It is about recognizing what people need in order to do their best work.

The meta-analysis found that both anxious and avoidant styles are linked to common personality traits: more emotional ups and downs (neuroticism) and lower levels of trust, cooperation, and follow-through.

Stress, performance, and why some people burn out faster

The research looked at 32,278 employees. The conclusion was clear: attachment style impacts job performance, job satisfaction, burnout, and even whether someone is looking for the exit.

Employees with anxious attachment tend to:• Feel more stressed• Enjoy their jobs less• Think about quitting more often• Struggle with engagement

Those with avoidant attachment often show lower performance and higher burnout, though they might not always admit to struggling.

Trust

Here is where things get especially relevant for leaders. The study shows that attachment style influences how much an employee trusts their manager. That trust (or lack of it) strongly shapes performance, commitment, and satisfaction.

Which means the challenge is not only the employee’s internal style. It is whether they believe their leader has their back.

Think of trust as the bridge that allows people to show up fully. If someone’s attachment style makes that bridge shaky, everything on the other side becomes harder: collaboration, feedback, innovation, performance.

So what does a manager do with this?

You do not need to be a therapist. You only need to pay attention to what people need.

1. If someone is anxious…• Be clear and predictable• Offer feedback before their worry fills the silence• Reinforce their value, not only their tasks

2. If someone is avoidant…• Respect independence but do not let them drift away• Offer support in practical, low-pressure ways• Build trust through consistent actions rather than check-ins.

   
   

In both cases, the team benefits when leaders provide psychological safety: honest communication, reliability, and follow-through.

What employees can take from this

If you lean anxious: Notice when worry is driving your behavior. Ask for clarity.If you lean avoidant: Notice when independence becomes isolation. Ask for help earlier.

Attachment style is not destiny. It is a map of where you are starting. You can always learn new ways of relating.

What secure attachment looks like at work

It is easy to focus on the challenges of anxious or avoidant styles, so here is what “good” looks like.

Employees with a secure attachment style tend to:• Trust their leaders and colleagues• Ask for help when they need it• View feedback as support, not criticism• Bounce back faster from stress• Engage deeply with their work and team• Take healthy risks and innovate• Maintain strong performance over time

Securely attached employees are not perfect. They simply believe two things most of us struggle with:

1. People can be relied upon.

2. They are worthy of that support.

They bring psychological stability. They make collaboration smooth rather than draining. They often become the “cultural glue” that keeps teams performing.

Research shows they are more satisfied, more engaged, and less likely to leave. They help elevate the entire social climate of a team. Maybe, we should assess for this and hire only or mostly people with secure attachment style:-)

Work is personal

We often pretend work and personal worlds operate separately. They do not. How we feel about support, belonging, trust, or recognition shows up every single day on the job. Understanding attachment styles helps us see why people behave the way they do. It gives leaders tools to lead better. It gives employees a language for their needs. Most importantly, it reminds us that performance is never only about skills.

It is about people.

A message for HR

HR leaders care deeply about people and performance. Yet there is a blind spot. Engagement is not only about rewards, recognition, or EVP campaigns. It is about the psychological way employees attach to their workplace relationships.

If we ignore attachment styles:• Engagement programs will continue to fall flat• Money will keep being spent without moving the needle• Leaders will blame “culture” instead of understanding people HR already measures experience. Maybe now it must measure trust, relational needs, and how secure people feel at work.

The science is clear:

People engage when they trust.People trust when they feel secure.Security begins with understanding attachment.

This is the future of people strategy. Not more perks. Better relationships.

---

If you also want to listen to the podcast discussion this research a little bit more in detail: