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This one sentence (Alain De Botton) hit me like a brick wall and my mind started to puzzle together four different topics I have been thinking about:
The modern-day Peter Pans (Steven Bartlett).
Childless female leaders and their need to break the glass ceiling.
Paid self-PR (paying for recognition and cover page pictures.
Loveless & connectionless society.
Then Alain De Botton dropped this line and I was like "OMG" this is the one that drives these behaviours and we have no idea what to do with them.
You have the Peter Pans, men and women, who take no responsibility for establishing a family. They are well disguised under the cover of "business people" just like Steven Bartlett. The more I listen to him talking about his relationship, the more I am convinced he is a child in a man's body. Being a millionaire and in an eight-year relationship and still saying "I am not sure I am ready to have a family" well, this girl should get out. Anyway, then you have the childless women fighting for the executive chair.
I despise everything about this movement. I know you will disagree with me but the majority of these women are Peter Pans as well. It is a disguise and most of them are childless. And if you pay close attention they behave like mothers (rightly) and not like business people. The suit is just the cover. Once I even said to my boss when she tried to mother me "I am not your non-existing child".
Then you have those who pay for their PR. LOL. They pay for awards, article covers, interviews etc. Quite frankly I never got it. But now I do.
They are not chasing money, fame or status, they are chasing the love that comes with them, because we live in a world where these things matter.
Great, so what the hell do we do with people like that in organisations? What do we do when senior leaders are like that? When they occupy roles to get the long-desired love and recognition from their family members and not to make things better. What do we do when they are in it for the money so they can get a car that attracts women and not to make more profit, improve employees' circumstances or do things differently? Could this be the reason for the status quo?????? So, what should we do?
Shall we at least have a conversation with them? If so, what would that look like? "Hey Brenda, what is it with you and the glass ceiling?" or "Hey Steve, why do you insist on publishing nonsense online?"
I don't have the answer but here is what I am pretty sure about, people who value titles, fame, money, luxury cars, villas and other material items are looking for love, and this is sad. We have a lot of sad people walking around in society and in organisations including those who are in jobs (not famous or earn millions) they hate because it is valued by others and that gives them recognition which translates to love.
Ask yourself today, "I am doing it for the love I get out of it?" Be honest! If so, where else could you get love that doesn't involve money, work, or fame? Those are not real love.
Human beings CANNOT exist without love & attention and when it is not present we engage in the weirdest behaviour to get it. Maybe, stopping being Peter Pans, and committing to a person instead of running away would help the situation.
PS: Not everyone is doing it for the money and fame, those are the ones you don't hear about on social media:-))))
