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Tell Me Why Employment is Hard

My book is out (links below), and as I was looking at it yesterday, a TikTok video crossed my mind. The one where a woman starts with "Tell me why marriage is hard," and others stitch it with the "mistakes" men make. These can be anything from not folding the dishcloth, leaving your shoes next to the shoe rack instead of on it, or not finding a ketchup bottle. All these are insignificant, but they keep hammering down the men while ignoring everything they do right.


This is exactly how employment feels: employers with high standards towards employees who are constantly watched and criticised, all the good they do take for granted, while themselves (employers) are less than perfect!

Employment, just like marriage, is hard because:


  • Employers never say "sorry" when they mess up.

  • No matter what you do, you will be criticised for that one thing you didn't do. 

  • You spend years with people (company/boss/processes) who constantly tell you that you are wrong and broken and that they are right. 

  • Then you finally master the courage to finally speak up, but what you get is eye-rolling, being labelled as a troublemaker or not a team player OR culturally unfit.


Maybe it is time for employers to look into the mirror and see how they treat employees because it can sometimes feel like a bad marriage. 


Do you know what some of the men replied to one of these videos? "I stay at work or visit a friend before going home, so I don't need to spend much time with my wife and avoid the criticism." What would be the equivalent of this at work? "I arrive late, don't talk to people, view work as a transaction, emotionally distance myself, and leave on the dot." 


Familiar? Haven't we all talked about these problems related to Millenials and Gen Z? Maybe we have caused their behaviour with all that criticism, eye-rolling, and wanting to change them. Of course, they react the way they do. Ignoring their experiences is a straight way to divorce or, in this case, resignation. 


Let's re-examine what we do to our employees and spouses—husbands and wives—and ask the question: What kind of experiences are they having with us? The good news is that we can design them! How? Here it is!


FRESH OFF THE PRESS, IT IS HERE! The Blind Leading the Disengaged—From The Corporate Kindergarten to Designing Employee Experience covers everything HR and business leaders need to know about their workforce.




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