The behaviour we don't pay attention to is the answer to our questions. In organisations, we often point out people's behaviour and tell them to stop doing it. Or, we try to fix them instead of understanding why they are doing it in the first place. So here are brought you some quotes to make you ponder this Sunday morning because fixing people without understanding them is a waste of time.
“If you can't understand why someone is doing something, look at the consequences of their actions, whatever they might be, and then infer the motivations from their consequences.” Peterson.
"People who cannot communicate think that everything is an argument, and people who lack accountability and self-awareness, think everything is an attack." I don't know who said this but if you do let me know.
"Never trust a cynic. Cynics excuse their bad behaviour by saying everyone does it." Elon Musk
"If you are in a bad mood all the time, you are not in a bad mood, you are an ass hole." Don't remember the source.
People do things for a reason and if you don't figure out that reason before attempting to address the behaviour is like applying the wrong medicine to an illness.
People who are offended by discussions, debate or questioning and get defensive don't need an emotional intelligence course they need to develop self-awareness and accountability which also teach them how to communicate.
Those who justify their bad actions by others' doing also lack accountability but they also see the bad in others and will always start every action from this standpoint. They will be the ones "Yes, but he/she did this hence im doing this..."
The full-time moody people don't need positivity or managing relationship training, they need to get fired to give them time to sort themselves out because they are simply not socialised enough to be amongst people.
We often don't want to see people for who they are because applying a silly training course and hoping it will address deep-rooted issues will solve the problem. This approach keeps us comfortable because who really wants to see the real person? Nobody, so we come up with alternatives that are more comfortable for us but that will not solve any problem. As Maya Angelou said, "When people show you who they are believe them."
Believe them and treat them accordingly.