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Bullying Everyone Into Caring About You

Now, I would like you to pay attention to something at work. Corporate brainwashed people who cannot generate a genuine idea by themselves and swallowed the corporate textbook throw words around like kindness, empathy, engagement, strategic, wellbeing, all the buzzwords that people have fallen for but when you ask them "Can you please define it for me so I know what to do or how to be?" you get a vague bla bla. These meaningless words and platitudes are used by the woke compassionate narcissists who are out there to save everyone, singing "Be kind and think about what others are going through" have infiltrated organisations but when you press them on the meaning of the words they are preaching about they cannot even define them. 


Yesterday I asked somebody who said "Leaders must be kind" to define it for me and describe what it means. What does kind look like when: 


- the person constantly underperforms? 

- the person always has some personal problems that impact others at work?

- the person had 32 days of sick leave in the past 6 months which severely impacted others? 


Of course, there was no answer! 


Many say, to listen to people, think of what they are going through and be understanding. Ok, but for how long? While I am listening and being considerate about the circumstances of the person how does it impact the rest of the team? Am I being kind to them by allowing John to not perform and impact others and the organisation because he is going through a divorce? When I am kind to one, am I being unkind to others? Be kind to whom? The individual or the collective? How much kindness is enough, too much or too little? Is there a scale? If so, who established the right figure? If there isn’t, how can we ask? Could it be that kindness is expressed differently by everyone? Which one is the right one? Why? What does kindness look like in every situation? Does kindness mean telling the truth? 


Organisations are paddling in murky waters with this kindness and other narratives and words they are carelessly throwing around. They cannot even define them. As a result, leaders are so confused they have no idea what to do because the moment they express authority or don't break down crying over Brenda's dying cat (which they shouldn't) they are immediately labelled as toxic, unkind, have no empathy etc. 


In reality, nobody cares about anybody's struggle because people have their own. So, the toxic narcissists who are out there to save us all from mental health issues and "toxic" workplaces that don't care about my latest predicament can pack it in. Being kind is described in the dictionary as: generous, helpful, and thinking about others' feelings. And you know what? People in general are good and kind because they help when you need them but the question is how long and how much help is considered to be appropriate? Also, why are we expecting this from work? Shouldn't you all have families and friends who are helping you through life? Why is it your boss' concern that you are going through a divorce? When did being strong and composed so I carry on without anyone knowing about my problems become a weakness? I am proud of my strengths that no matter what has happened in my life it has never impacted others around me. Why? Because I consider others more than myself and unless I must, I will not impact others with my problems. I don't think that I am more important than others. Why has this quality now been demonised and we all have to share and talk about every inconvenience life throws at us? 


People need to take responsibility for themselves instead of forcing everyone to care about them and tiptoe around their feelings. What kind of a narcissistic way of thinking is that? Imagine bullying everyone into a position where we have to pretend that we care about you. How sad is that? It says a lot more about the person than the people who just don't care about your dying pet. We don't have the emotional or the cognitive capacity to care and feel for everything and everyone around us. Some people will never care about you and I am sure that there are people you will never care for. It's ok! You will have to find that few people who care about you and whom they care more about than others and if everyone does that we are all covered. But we cannot force people to be constantly occupied by what is happening to others or how we make others feel so now we cannot say anything because maybe Lucas will get offended. The funny thing is, that companies and employees are shouting about and demanding psychological safety (another buzz) while constantly pushing down the narrative of "Don't say anything not to offend others." What the hell are we supposed to do? NOBODY can navigate this system well, so we do nothing and organisations are wasting their money on training programs related to issues created by the woke brigade. 


I say, be fair to everyone, don't hurt anybody, and help when you can. It is not very difficult to be a good person and most people are!!! People will go through very difficult times in life and we understand that. We will make accommodations but for how long, it will be determined by the impact of that accommodation on the team and organisation because leaders must think for everyone, not just for one person. This is why we say that leadership is hard. Sometimes you must fire that person whose current life circumstances are incompatible with the team's needs and the kindest thing is to remove that person for the greater good. But I am sure, that the self-obsessed narcissists would think otherwise and sacrifice the team for their good. Well, when a leader allows that to happen or is bullied into it, she/he is not being kind or a leader. 


As a weekend fun activity, try to define other corporate words that you are happy to sing along and see how you get on:-)) Start with loyalty because this has been butchered and misunderstood. A hint, loyalty doesn't mean length of service. It has nothing to do with the time spent with the organisation or with someone:-) 


PS: Nothing demonstrates the level of delusion around this topic "Nobody cares about you" than the posts about "If you die, they will empty your desk and post the job adv on the same day." Well, what did you expect? The company to shut down a department, 1000s of customers to be ignored, or your team to struggle with the workload because you died? That's not very kind is it?


365 other things to think about related to corporate practices. Enjoy! 




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