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You Are Mistreated at Work If....

You know those situations when you dance around people's actions, moods, or their approach to you and try to influence them to like you? Or at least not to attack you?

These are the relationships where you make yourself small or even act tough, but the facade is killing you.

You help wherever you can, and instead of standing up for yourself, you just give more of yourself while ensuring you don't show that this person is hurting you.

You manage the person's behaviour by reducing yourself to almost nothing; you become invisible, leading you to think that it is not only the right thing to do, but it may be your fault that the person responds to you this way.

You start asking questions like, "Am I the difficult person or just being too sensitive?" "Maybe I don't know how to manage people or situations correctly?"

So you Google for advice on "How to manage my boss or coworker?" You go to lengths to please that person so that person is not harming you in any way.

You hide your talent, skills, personality, and even your loud laugh so you don't provoke any response from the person. You make sure that you don't come across as being better at something, even if you are, so the person doesn't perceive you as a professional threat. Your skills, knowledge and expertise slowly fade away, and you start disappearing.

You are told and tell yourself that you are empathetic, have the ability to recognise how people feel and manage it well. You are even told that you are the peacekeeper of the office and people can always count on you for help.

If you do that at work, home, or with friends, you need to know that in psychology, it is one of the four trauma responses that include fight, flight, freeze, and fawning.

The fawn response is when an individual tries to avoid or minimise distress or danger by pleasing and appeasing the threat. Someone responding in this way would do whatever they can to keep the threat or abuser happy despite their own needs and wants.

So, if you are tiptoeing around someone to avoid being hurt or to keep them sweet and in a good mood, it is time to have a conversation or to leave.

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